Within the general public there are several views and opinions of what constitutes trauma. Many people hear the words “trauma” or “PTSD” and they immediately think of war veterans or people who have had near-death experiences. Rarely do people think about the trauma of parents divorcing or unexpectedly losing a job. When we experience these types of stressors, others tend to encourage us to move past it and accept it as a normal life event. This can be extremely discouraging and invalidating.
What happens when you find yourself struggling with an event that has happened in your life, but you yourself and/or those around you do not recognize the troubling event as traumatic? Oftentimes, shame creeps in and we wonder why we can’t just get over it. The trouble is, for whatever reason, our brain has reached a barrier and is stuck in a trauma response with that particular event. One way to think about this is to recognize that we are made up of so many different parts that come together to form who we are. If we look at ourselves in this way and we notice how our thoughts, emotions and physical sensations are all involved in the trauma response, we can begin to gain more clarity in discerning what aspect of ourselves is stuck or struggling.
Trauma is so difficult to define because what may cause a trauma response for one person may not cause one for another. We can never predict what our brain will be capable of processing naturally and what may become a “stuck point” that we struggle to move past. Because of this, trauma is a bit mysterious and may take help to work through. If you catch yourself saying: “Why can’t I just get over this?” or “Why does this thing keep bothering me?”, it may be time to reach out for support in working through the event.
Be careful to not minimize the trauma inducing event, as frustrating as it may feel to be stuck working through something that feels like no big deal. For whatever reason, the stressor continues to negatively impact you and it won’t be helpful to criticize yourself for struggling. Ultimately, trauma can be defined as something that causes disturbance or distress. This is regardless of explanation or societal norms and definitions of what can and cannot be seen as traumatic. Your own brain and body will tell you where you are stuck, and there are some really great tools out there to help get the brain unstuck.
If you want any additional information about how we help our clients to get past their stuck points, we would love to hear from you.
Kaitlyn Thompson is a Licensed Social Worker and Psychotherapist in the Houston area. She specializes in treating trauma and working with couples. She also has had experience working with at-risk students in schools, refugees and crime victims. Additionally, Kaitlyn is a youth leader at her church in Pearland and loves to work with teenagers.
